


High Enough

by trepidatingboarfetus



Category: Grand Theft Auto Series (Video Games), Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: Addiction, Angst and Feels, Drug Addiction, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27552397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trepidatingboarfetus/pseuds/trepidatingboarfetus
Summary: From the newly released The Lost Boys Volume One GTA V Fanzine!Trevor Philips has always had addictions to all kinds of things, including Michael Townley.
Relationships: Michael De Santa/Trevor Philips
Kudos: 9





	High Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Remember me mentioning that I was busy working on a huge-ass GTA V Fanzine project with a friend and a bunch of kickass writers and artists? Well, it's out!! Go grab it! 
> 
> https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1wuK7xUDkj4vioR6lWT3eqaeelOHmMwv3
> 
> L'autel de Michel translates into “the altar of Michael.”
> 
> High Enough is by K. Flay.

_I don't like anyone better than you, it's true_

_I'd crawl a mile in a desolate place with the snakes, just for you_

_Oh, I'm an animal, hand me a tramadol, gimme the juice_

_You are my citadel, you are my wishing well, my baby blue_

_I used to like liquor to get me inspired_

_But you look so beautiful, my new supplier_

_I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking_

_But I found a different buzz_

_The world is a curse, it'll kill if you let it_

_I know they got pills that can help you forget it_

_They bottle it, call it medicine_

_But I don't need drugs_

_'Cause I'm already high enough_

_You got me, you got me good_

_I'm already high enough_

_I only, I only, I only got eyes for you_

_Do you see anyone other than me?_

_Baby, please_

_I'll take a hit of whatever you got_

_Maybe two, maybe three_

_Oh, you're phenomenal, feel like a domino, fall to my knees_

_I am a malady, you are my galaxy, my sweet relief_

Addictions have been Trevor’s only true family and friends for as long as he can remember. They are the lovers that embrace him into the night after everyone else has left, soothing him well into the next day and beyond. He loves that, and it’s all he needs from anyone or anything. He has no use for people beyond a quick fuck, and even there he finds that sometimes his hand is better than the process of trying to find tail. It’s mentally exhausting and a painful fucking chore, really. 

All he’s _ever_ needed was his quick-fix medication. Fuck civilization. Fuck the goddamn RCAF too right up the ass. OK, so flying was another addiction of his. He felt more at ease in the air than he felt on the ground, and he wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe because there’s no one in the friendly skies to disappoint him or leave him behind when they don’t want him anymore or beat the shit out of him just for being himself. 

And _that_ was all that he felt he ever needed in his miserable existence, but then _he_ had to come in and ruin it all by being a better feeling than any of it could ever hope to be just by flashing his gorgeous pearly whites along with those intoxicating blues.

Does he know just how much Trevor is willing to brave just to have a small sliver of a taste of him? To be able to prostrate before him and worship at L'autel de Michel because he knows he can do it for hours if given the mere chance. He would lather every inch of that skin with his tongue if Mikey would only say the word.

Michael is a dangerous drug, the kind he desires, the one his body demands he give into, but it can’t easily procure. He can drink all day long, smoke a cigarette without a care in the world. Hell, pot or speed aren’t hard to come by at all, and if he really tries his luck, neither are the harder ones like heroin, ice, or angel dust. 

But even trying with all of his might, the addiction known as Michael is slightly harder to come by because it alludes him as much as the man himself does. 

And it leaves him withdrawing, bitter, depressed, and craving in pain no different than anything else. Goddamn, he wants the world to end. What the fuck is the point of anything if he can’t cave in and know what the hell it _is_ he is even missing?

Oh, but he knows. He _knows_. 

It is sloppy drunken kisses claimed during the late-night hours, touches here and gasps there, random acts of love only shown when inebriated or high as fuck only to fade away as quickly as the approaching dawn, leaving him feeling breathless, somewhat mystified, and crazy in love. 

Sometimes just purely crazy. 

God, Michael is just magnificently beautiful, and if Trevor could only figure out how to bottle the happiness he feels whenever he is around, he would figure out how to mass-produce it and keep it all for himself forever so he would never be without it for the rest of his life since he’s gone nearly the first quarter of a century without. 

He knows the problem with his plan is that he wanted to keep something as great as Michael to himself because he was afraid of what would happen if everyone gets ahold of him, and he simply disappears one day. He will go nuts with grief, and the thought of it nearly causes his stomach to wrench in panic, but he isn’t sure he _can_ keep something like Michael to himself. Michael will always find a way into other's hands, by hook or by crook. He knows that it is simply a matter of time and place, not something he can avoid. 

So he tries to be OK, for the benefit of all because Michael is definitely a helluva drug. 

But it comes at the cost of some of his happiness, so he tries to grab more time, longer and harder hits just so he can _feel_. Silently, he wonders if he’s on Michael’s mind when he’s with _her_ , but then he laughs and remembers. 

He’s a walking disease for which there is only one cure, standing before him, waiting to offer him blessed relief from his lips like spun golden beams from some sun god of old. He’s lucky to even touch the face of this god, so no, he’ll never be on Michael’s mind when he reaches out. 

He’s already high enough even though his body is so desperate to get higher and keep going until sweet release.


End file.
